I feel normal again. I have not felt normal for a month now. I think the overwhelming pressure of the holidays affected me in a negative way. I could not paint or even concentrate on my art so I pretty much had to take 3 weeks or so off. Dont get me wrong, we are pretty laid back when it comes to Christmas with its sparkly celebrations compared to many others but just the inundation of the commercialism, expectations and the whole energy just messed with me. I will need to figure out a way next year to make it more meaningful and less stressful. LIke Forest Gump would say...."And thats all I am going to say about that!".
I have a few paintings I was lost in over this last month that came with me over the threshold into 2017. In 2016 they frustrated me and now they excite me. Three are large canvases. I had purchased some larger brushes to deal with covering more space as I have discovered boredom quickly sets in and my "eyes cross" within a large painting when my brushes are too small...(imagine washing a dance floor with a toothbrush then polishing it with a q tip, you get my drift) I purchased a very expensive brush and still have not opened it. I am terrible with my brushes, I get so lost in the act of creativity then forget them wet with paint on a table somewhere in my studio..only to be found hard as rock the next day. You can usually hear my utterances of disgust when I find one wrapped in a paint rag off the the side...as I did this morning.
In 2017 I need to write more about my daily painting escapades. I have been told this so I will try. I do like to write so it shouldnt be too difficult.
The last while I have been listening to "Leaving Time" by Jody Piccoult on an audio cd in the studio. I am down to the very last of the book and here I am today trying to paint, with tears running down my cheeks as the story unfolds in a way I had no idea. The monotone voice of the narrator adding to my sadness...but in a good way I am amazed at how anothers creativity has affected me so. I will try harder to achieve that in my work.
These days my artist within is pushing me once again. It tells me I need to do better and it scoffs at some of my older work that I was so proud of a few years ago. I CAN do better...this I know. This is a good thing. This is how I improve. This is what its all about and this is what I thrive on.
Happy New Year!
Posted by Cindy Mawle at 06:24